Raising Smarter Children

Dear Readers,

This was to be the second of our 4 back to school success posts, but I’ve just finished surviving the devastation of Hurricane Ike.

So, next post will be number 2 in our back to school success series, and I thought this was too important a time not to write down these thoughts.

I’ve never been in a hurricane before and while visiting my sister in Texas, it happened.  Did it ever - and I pray it never happens again to anyone, anywhere.

Being from California, and knowing absolutely zero about hurricanes, I got a crash course in how they work, but more importantly, how people can bond together and help each other get through with no power, no water, no energy, gas and food.

Folks, my first thought when I heard this was coming is what does it mean?  What  will happen?  The kids that live in Texas are used to hurricanes, but this was very, very different.  I certainly had no idea what to expect.  It’s one thing to see things on T.V. and quite another to be in the middle of it when it’s happening. 

What I learned is that a tragedy can actually be time for some very good and powerful learning for your children. (and me too).

1.   You are your child’s model.  What you do in a crisis, will influence them forever.  Be calm and steady - if not for you, do it for the kids.  If you’re calm and prepared, your kids will be too.  Work together getting the house ready (if you don’t have to evacuate), shop together telling the kids how much easier it will be with lots of water, ice, canned items and the rest of food that you will need,  because most likely the power will go out.   

2.  Study hurricanes together as a family, again calmly.  Learn about how they work and why the sky may turn aqua green just after what looks like lightening.  Learning new things together helps children want to learn and builds their curiosity about other things too.

Have lots of games to play together when the power goes out, and a whole lot of flashlights.  When it’s really dark, everybody feels better with light.

The games will help your kids feel happier when you’re playing, and can calm them too.  Play every single game you can with them.  Read happy stories to your kids because it releases the ‘feel good’ neurotransmitter dopamine in the brain. 

3.  Make contingency plans since you can’t predict everything.  Insure your kids know what to do and that you will be there for them.  This helps your kids learn to think ahead when things are unknown.

4.  The neighbors here had one of those wind up radios from radio shack and they let us use it to get more information.  I highly recommend, after what I’ve just been through, to invest the few dollars and get one.  You don’t need any power - just wind it up.  It was so helpful.  Again, your kids will learn what they need during a crisis.   Information is one of your most powerful allies.

5.  When your kids are informed about what’s coming, they are far more likely to want to help you and each other and quickly learn the value of what it means to be a real family - stick together. 

6.  Answer their questions - all of them.  Again, be calm.  Let the kids know it’s O.K. to be afraid, but that you’re doing everything you can to prepare.  You’ve got plenty of warning time so you have a real opportunity to help your children help themselves and make amazingly good choices during a crisis.

7.  If they want to be right next to you when the hurricane hits, find that room with no outside walls and put the mattresses there, or make a game of jumping in the tub and putting the mattress over your heads before it hits. Try to lighten things up a bit for everyone.  Believe me, this goes a long way toward both teaching the kids what they need to know, and helping them laugh at the same time.

8.  Tell them why you need to fill your tubs with water, why to duct tape your windows and board them up.  Have them help you - they will feel much safer and more secure when you’re doing these things together. 

9.  Assume the very best of your kids - they will surprise you with their creativity and thoughts if you let them.  This is a time they can quickly learn kindness, humility and courage - all at the same time.

10.  When the hurricane is over, go outside, look around and thank God you’re all safe.  It may be a huge mess (it sure was here), but you’ll be surprised at how the neighborhood bonds together to help each other.

This is the time for your children to learn compassion for others too.  We heard that the first response teams needed food and water because they had none.  Remember these are the folks who are supposed to rescue others.  And they had no food or water.  So when the call went out to help, we gathered up all our extra water and food we could, and took it to them.  They were so happy and grateful.

Imagine how good your kids will feel helping the police or firefighters or even the national guard with simple things like water.  What does that teach them?  We’re a community and all in this together.

I learned a lot from this and pray you never have to experience anything like it, but if you do, some real good can come from it.

With gratitude,

Pat Wyman

If you like these ideas, please hit the comment button and share your thoughts.  Help others by clicking on the “share this” button and letting the social community know.  That’s what it’s really all about -sharing and caring.  I thank you for reading this and if you’ve been to our other site for back to school help and resources,  http://www.HowToLearn.com I thank you now for your patience because things are understandably delayed.

Warmly,

Pat Wyman

Tags: back to school, California, compassion, contingency plans, courage, creativity, curiosity, decisions, devastation, dopamine, evacuate, flashlights, food, games, gas, God, http://www.howtolearn.com, hurricane, Hurricane Ike, Ike, learning, neurotransmitter, Pat Wyman, play, pray, preparation, reading, role model, school success, sky, T.V., tragedy, values

This type of post is unusual for us, but in the spirit of loving our children and wanting the best for them, we simply had to speak out against the unconscionable remarks that talk show host, Michael Savage, had to say about autism.  The public “spin” in his so-called apology is inexcusable.  

Michael Savage said, “You know what autism is. I’ll tell you what it is in 99% of the cases.  It’s a brat who hasn’t been told to cut the act out.  That’s what autism is.”  He then went on to say that autism isa result of lax parenting, a fraud and a racket, and labeled the children with autism both idiots and morons.

A New York Times article says Savage stands by his comments.

Savage was not original and did not bring the autism epidemic to light.  Autism has been in the news for years, and we clearly have an epidemic on our hands.  While his so-called apology fell back on the ADD - ADHD over diagnoses and over medication, there is something terribly wrong with this picture.   In no way does autism even come close to that argument, and his publicity spin was more than unsuccessful.

One has to wonder what such a media saavy man has up his sleeve.  If indeed, he was trying to shine the light on a controversy, he could have done so in a much classier way.  If his goal is higher ratings, most likely he hit the target.

As one of the 44 co-authors of the IPPY Book of the Year in the medicine category, The Official Autism 101 Manual, these real doctors and world’s experts on autism obviously do not share Michael Savage’s views.  Judging by the raving public outcry against Michael Savage’s remarks, parents, teachers, and special caretakers do not share Michael Savage’s views.  He demeaned millions of people and then tried to explain his comments away in a reckless and unbelievable manner.

Yes, he is a talk show host and sometimes knows exactly what he is talking about - and that’s an opinion too.

Autism however, is not an opinion.  Children and adults on the autism spectrum are remarkable, and their parents are heroic for doing everything possible to create a peaceful family life and care for their autistic child. 

As a special education teacher at one time in my life, I taught children diagnosed on the autistic spectrum and loved them deeply.  They were talented, loving, and I”m being honest when I say it was also difficult.  These children light up the world when they smile and at the same time often do injurious things to themselves, like head banging, and we can only guess at the reason. 

If you care look closely enough, you may discover the child has pain someplace in their body, and they think that headbanging or other behaviors may help.

But these are things that Michael Savage apparently doesn’t know about.  I have to wonder how many autistic children he has been around and cared for. 

One of my dear friends has a child with autism, and that child has blessed the world with two beautiful books, and his art-ism.  He has a magnificent talent for art and we are all the better for it.

I’m deeply disappointed, along with The Michael Savage show sponsors, including ABC, and the millions of others who either care for or, are themselves, far enough along the spectrum feel denegrated due to Michael Savage’s remarks.

While our blog is here to promote helping children be smart in their own way, and make good decisions arising from strong values, Michael Savage did not make a good decision today, except to bolster his own self-centertedness and spin his apology with an obvious lack of good values. 

And that, dear readers, is our humble opinion.  If you are the parent or relative of a child or adult on the autistic spectrum, we send you our love.

Remember, every child is smart,

Lovingly,

Pat Wyman and Erin Mavredakis, M.D.

Tags: ABC, ADD, ADHD, autism, autism controversy, autism spectrum, brat, Erin Mavredakis, fraud, HowToLearn.com, IPPY, M.D., medicine, Michael Savage, Michael Savage and autim remarks, moron, Pat Wyman, raising smarter children

Dear Fellow Parents and Friends,

What parent doesn’t want their child to be able to make good, solid decisions, grounded in integrity and excellent character?

When I was raising my children, I always worked out real life scenarios with them in advance, knowing they would have to make some tough choices when the time came.  So we planned what they would do, how they would act, what choice they would make and discussed all the consequences of their actions.

It’s so important to raise children who are “smarter” when it comes good values and decision making.

In the comment below, Dr. Aaron Cooper, author of I Just Want My Kids To Be Happy, and clinical psychologist with The Family Institute of Northwestern University, gives some remarkable advice on how to raise kids who make smarter decisions and have a solid sense of values.

One great tip he recommends happens at dinner time.  Have your kids share something special about their day.

When I raised my kids, we all went around the table, and said one reason we liked or loved another person at the table, and one thing we liked about ourselves.  It definitely went a long way teaching them about never taking another forgranted, gratitude and raising their self-esteem.

Dr. Cooper has several tips to raise a “smarter child” and I encourage you to read his insightful and very practical advice.

Remember, all kids are smart in their own way,

Pat Wyman and Erin Mavredakis, M.D.

Tags: beliefs, character, decision making, Dr. Aaron Cooper, Erin Mavredakis, I Just Want My Kids To Be Happy, M.D., making good decisions, Pat Wyman, smarter children, Smarter kids, values