Children With Excellent Character and Strong Values
May 15th, 2008 by Pat Wyman
Dear Fellow Parents and Friends,
What parent doesn’t want their child to be able to make good, solid decisions, grounded in integrity and excellent character?
When I was raising my children, I always worked out real life scenarios with them in advance, knowing they would have to make some tough choices when the time came. So we planned what they would do, how they would act, what choice they would make and discussed all the consequences of their actions.
It’s so important to raise children who are “smarter” when it comes good values and decision making.
In the comment below, Dr. Aaron Cooper, author of I Just Want My Kids To Be Happy, and clinical psychologist with The Family Institute of Northwestern University, gives some remarkable advice on how to raise kids who make smarter decisions and have a solid sense of values.
One great tip he recommends happens at dinner time. Have your kids share something special about their day.
When I raised my kids, we all went around the table, and said one reason we liked or loved another person at the table, and one thing we liked about ourselves. It definitely went a long way teaching them about never taking another forgranted, gratitude and raising their self-esteem.
Dr. Cooper has several tips to raise a “smarter child” and I encourage you to read his insightful and very practical advice.
Remember, all kids are smart in their own way,
Pat Wyman and Erin Mavredakis, M.D.
Tags: beliefs, character, decision making, Dr. Aaron Cooper, Erin Mavredakis, I Just Want My Kids To Be Happy, M.D., making good decisions, Pat Wyman, smarter children, Smarter kids, valuesThis entry was posted on Thursday, May 15th, 2008 at 2:39 pm and is filed under Smarter Decisions And Values. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
May 16th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
What the world needs is children developing a sense of appreciation for others, for the world beyond themselves and their own particular needs:
• Teach the value of loving kindness. (People who engage in acts of loving kindness have been found to lead happier lives; plant the seed of this activity when kids are young.)
–On birthdays, collect with your son or daughter the old toys that aren’t played with anymore, and deliver them together to a needy school or pediatrics ward at the hospital. (Birthdays are for giving, not just for receiving.)
–Bake a batch of cookies together for a sick friend or neighbor; the child makes the delivery.
–Volunteer together at an animal shelter or soup kitchen.
• Promote a sense of spirituality. (People who report a sense of spirituality in their lives have been found to be happier than others; plant the seed of spirituality when kids are young.)
–Ask kids questions that probe life’s mysteries: why is there evil in the world? what happens to us when we die? (You need not have the answers; it’s the exploration that creates a sense of appreciation for the mystery of life, what the eye can’t see.)
–Create rituals that celebrate occasions and mark milestones in life: end of the school year/start of the school year; passage from childhood into adolescence; leaving home for the first time to sleep-away camp or college. Invite friends or family to a dinner to mark the occasion. (Use foods, colors, music, lights–all the elements that mark the ritual as memorable to youngsters.)
–On birthdays and anniversaries, be sure to acknowledge the deeper meaning of the occasions: the joy we take that you were born; the commitment and respect involved when a relationship marks 5, 10, 20 years. Tell stories about the actual birth day, stories about how the anniversary couple met and obstacles they overcame.
• Teach gratitude. (People who report feeling gratitude in life have been found to be happier than others; plant the seed of gratitude when the kids are young.)
–At dinner, make a ritual out of asking everyone to name one or two things that went well that day.
–At Christmas or New Year’s or any important religious or ethnic holiday, have the children write a note of appreciation to one close friend or family member, citing that person’s contribution that year to the child’s life.
These are several approaches parents can take to develop their children’s character. Fine character, more than anything else, works to shape a better community, and a better world.
Too many young people are disconnected from themselves nowadays, and seeking a sense of connection in all the wrong places: food, shopping, premature sexuality, artificial “highs.” My book–”I Just Want My Kids To Be Happy: Why You Shouldn’t Say It, Why You Shouldn’t Think It, What You Should Embrace Instead”–is filled with easy suggestions for how parents can aim their kids toward authentically happy lives–and build fine character in their sons and daughters at the same time. More details at: http://www.mykidshappiness.com.