• Teach the value of loving kindness. (People who engage in acts of loving kindness have been found to lead happier lives; plant the seed of this activity when kids are young.)

–On birthdays, collect with your son or daughter the old toys that aren’t played with anymore, and deliver them together to a needy school or pediatrics ward at the hospital. (Birthdays are for giving, not just for receiving.)

–Bake a batch of cookies together for a sick friend or neighbor; the child makes the delivery.

–Volunteer together at an animal shelter or soup kitchen.

• Promote a sense of spirituality. (People who report a sense of spirituality in their lives have been found to be happier than others; plant the seed of spirituality when kids are young.)

–Ask kids questions that probe life’s mysteries: why is there evil in the world? what happens to us when we die? (You need not have the answers; it’s the exploration that creates a sense of appreciation for the mystery of life, what the eye can’t see.)

–Create rituals that celebrate occasions and mark milestones in life: end of the school year/start of the school year; passage from childhood into adolescence; leaving home for the first time to sleep-away camp or college. Invite friends or family to a dinner to mark the occasion. (Use foods, colors, music, lights–all the elements that mark the ritual as memorable to youngsters.)

–On birthdays and anniversaries, be sure to acknowledge the deeper meaning of the occasions: the joy we take that you were born; the commitment and respect involved when a relationship marks 5, 10, 20 years. Tell stories about the actual birth day, stories about how the anniversary couple met and obstacles they overcame.

• Teach gratitude. (People who report feeling gratitude in life have been found to be happier than others; plant the seed of gratitude when the kids are young.)

–At dinner, make a ritual out of asking everyone to name one or two things that went well that day.

–At Christmas or New Year’s or any important religious or ethnic holiday, have the children write a note of appreciation to one close friend or family member, citing that person’s contribution that year to the child’s life.

These are several approaches parents can take to develop their children’s character. Fine character, more than anything else, works to shape a better community, and a better world.

Too many young people are disconnected from themselves nowadays, and seeking a sense of connection in all the wrong places: food, shopping, premature sexuality, artificial “highs.” My book–”I Just Want My Kids To Be Happy: Why You Shouldn’t Say It, Why You Shouldn’t Think It, What You Should Embrace Instead”–is filled with easy suggestions for how parents can aim their kids toward authentically happy lives–and build fine character in their sons and daughters at the same time. More details at: http://www.mykidshappiness.com.