Raising Smarter Children

 

Dear Parents and Friends,

Have you ever been in one of those situations where you’re tempted to keep something that somebody sent you by mistake? 

For Christmas, my son wanted the entire DVD set of a T.V. program he loved.  I think it lasted 8 seasons. 

So I contacted a separate store at Amazon (the set was new and about $30 less I think and the store was CSTT), and sure enough, a man named Chet came through and went the extra mile to get the whole set here before Christmas.

(I also got a very helpful book called Have A New Kid By Friday, by Dr. Kevin Leman -(this second link is his blog and wow, he’s a dad with amazing advice for raising kids without the attitude, and character without being a character. )

He’s also one of the funniest people I’ve ever heard. (We’ll call him and request an interview to post it on the blog for you).

Anyway, here’s the honesty dilemma:  a few days later, another, brand new set of the same DVD series came in the mail. 

Of course, the whole family loved this particular show, so now what? 

I decided to test a theory about whether the values I taught my kids were intact, so I called my daughter first (who I know really wanted the set too,) just to see what she would say.  

“Well Mom, you have to return them.  I’d really love to have them, but it’s the right thing to do to send them back.” 

Whew – good thing she said this - I can rest easier at night :):)

Next, I called my son to tell him what happened.  Happily, he basically said the same thing.

Of course, I really wanted the series too – and it would have been easy enough to keep them. 

But this is not about what we all wanted – it’s more about how to help your kids (you too - and that includes me),  respond with honesty, character and good values.

So, for my part, I wrote the man and asked how to return the second set.  Yes, it was the right thing to do, but I sure did want those DVD’s :):)

In this post, I’m really asking a question – how are you teaching your children good values, like honesty and strong character to keep doing the right thing?

When my kids were younger, I did several things to seed the traits I knew were best for them to lead a basically good life and give them values to pass on to their kids (I sure wish they would hurry up and have some!)

Here’s what I did to help them learn some good values, and I want to share it because it worked so well.

I set up situations in advance and we talked about them.  I’d provide a scenario, and then have them role play how they would respond in advance. That way, I knew when those situations came up in real life, they might at least think about what we talked about before acting.

These chit chats included the tough stuff like drugs, alcohol, defending a friend when other kids were saying bad things about that person, etc.

As a mom, I have to recommend this – think of all the things that happen in kids lives – and at all different ages.  When it’s time, try to come up with “what ifs” and see how many ways they say to handle the situation.

As a teacher, I’ve seen nearly every behavior from kids in every grade, and believe me when I tell you, while the kids shared details of their lives with me, there is no way you’d want to know the things I heard and saw. 

So, back to your own kids. Nix being naive – there are so many unknowns out there – get prepared – read stuff, (do you like the big word – stuff?), listen to experts, put the things you learn into practice – do it to help your kids develop those values we all know are good – like the difference between right and wrong (you don’t “steal” something you already bought, just because somebody else mistakenly sent it to you).

Think for a while about your kids and what they are exposed to.  You really have to pay attention, because as Dr. Leman says, “kids are smart, and they will outsmart you, so you’d better be prepared.”

Imagine this -what about the texting we hear so much about – where kids say such horrific things, the victim becomes suicidal?  How about all the “follow your friends’ acts or you’ll become an outcast?”  You have to shoplift too, just because you’re with your friends and they all do it.

It’s not easy being a parent, but as this New Year starts, I think beginning to prevent the things you don’t want, by talking about real things, and having your kids give you all the possible ways those situations could be handled is a great way to start. 

As you’re reading, I know you’ll have lots more good ideas, so share them with the community here, in the comments or the “share this” button.

Thank you and we always welcome your comments.  As you know, Erin is my daughter, and you can read about her in our “About us” section, so I can’t really sign her name to this one because I asked her about what we should do with that extra DVD set.

And my son, J.P., was the recipient of the first set of DVD’s – so, without him even knowing, I am thanking him for his honesty now.

As always, remember every child is smart – and I believe, when given your love and direction, your kids will choose honesty over deceit, and develop strong character and values.  Hey, you may be surprised and find them being role models for their friends.

Happy New Year!

Warmly,

Pat Wyman

I get so many e-mails from parents, literally begging for ways to help their kids do well in school, I’m going to mention my e-book, because it answers all those questions.  It really is a gift for your kids.

I’ve worked with kids for just about 30 years now (including my own) and someplace in there, discovered strategies that really make a difference in a child’s life. 

Instant Learning For Amazing Grades has 210 pages of easy and practical ways to study and get terrific grades on those written tests.  Your child’s learning style plays a huge role in school and how they learn – and this e-book will show you and your child how to harness the power of a learning style to succeed!

More here.. http://www.howtolearn.com/amazinggrades.html and you and your child can take the Personal Learning Styles Inventory on http://www.howtolearn.com

Again, may this new year be better than ever for you and your family.